Am I suffering from any of these?

GUIDE: Diagnosing depression
Depression is a serious medical illness that comes in many forms with a variety of symptoms. If you have any of the following symptoms for a prolonged period, it may be time to seek help.

• Persistent sad or anxious mood (Yeap)
• Feelings of hopelessness or pessimism (Yeap! Check)
• Feelings of guilt or worthlessness (Oh Yeah)
• Loss of interest in hobbies or activities (Probably)
• Fatigue or decreased energy (Always the tired one)
• Difficulty concentrating or making decisions (Aha)
• Insomnia or oversleeping (Super duper check check. Do I need to say anything about this.)
• Changes in appetite or weight (Yea! Sometimes)
• Thoughts of death or suicide (I don wanna talk about this)
• Restlessness or irritability (What yea staring at? I’ll pull your eyes out)
• Headaches or chronic pain (Yea! But it’s probably the hangovers from too much booze or too much sleep)

Source: National Institute of Mental Health

The symptoms of ADHD fall into the following two broad categories:^[6]

Inattention:

1. Failure to pay close attention to details or making careless mistakes when doing schoolwork or other activities (Yeap)
2. Trouble keeping attention focused during play or tasks (Yeap)
3. Appearing not to listen when spoken to (Hope not)
4. Failure to follow instructions or finish tasks (Oh Yea! Yeap! Yeap!)
5. Avoiding tasks that require a high amount of mental effort and organization, such as school projects (Well nope)
6. Frequently losing items required to facilitate tasks or activities, such as school supplies (Yeap)
7. Excessive distractibility (Super Yeap Yeap)
8. Forgetfulness (Aha)
9. Procrastination, inability to begin an activity (No Comments! A trillion gazillion bazillion Yeaps!!!)
10. Difficulties with household activities (cleaning, paying bills, etc.) (HAHAHAHAH! Yeap)
11. Difficulty falling asleep, may be due to too many thoughts at night (Yeap Of Course)
12. Frequent emotional outbursts (These days yeap)
13. Easily frustrated (Same as above)
14. Easily distracted (Always)

Hyperactivity-impulsive behavior

1. Fidgeting with hands or feet or squirming in seat (Yeap at times)
2. Leaving seat often, even when inappropriate (I don’t understand this)
3. Running or climbing at inappropriate times (Same as above)
4. Difficulty in quiet play (Same as above)
5. Frequently feeling restless (Yes of course! Need to smoke a hell lot to keep calm)
6. Excessive speech (I don’t understand this)
7. Answering a question before the speaker has finished (What can I do? I am so damn smart.. ehe.. But I’ve learned to control this to some extent)
8. Failure to await one’s turn (No Idea)
9. Interrupting the activities of others at inappropriate times (Maybe)
10. Impulsive spending, leading to financial difficulties (Oh Yea)
    

    Source: wikipedia.org